The Girl With No Name

I watch with amazement
wondering if you will ever catch my gaze
Is this for my amusement
or am i going through a phase

I want to aproach you
Talk to you
maybe, even hold you
I feel like a stalker
trapped in a cage

I see you at the bus stop
I see you following me
Am i the one stalking you
or are you stalking me?

I wish i had the courage
To turn around and ask
What is your name
But to me
You'll remain the girl with no name



That is a poem by me. not one of my best poems but one of all my poems. I am normally shy to show my writing so apreciate it.

Got A New Girlfriend

Well from today I have got a girlfreind and finally one from the local area and I haven't had a girlfreind from the local area for 7 years I normally go for girls that aren't easy to be with. So this is definitly a change but is it a good change? I really don't know I am constantly thinking is this a good decision or a bad one and I am currently writing a song about it, with many other projects put to side I always thought I wasn't creative but to think about it I am because I write songs make screenplays and also tried to write a little novel and know and again a poem.

Must be said I'm no good at poetry so my song lyrics are mostly a load of crap but you can judge them as I am going to be posting my lyrics and novellettes on here when I get time so people outside of my group of mates can judge I do like being judged but don't be too harsh on me. I have thought of going into film creating and all that so I am mostly wrong about my creativeness.

Memory Problems

I'm sure I've got memory problems I can't remember what my Dad told me saturday about today because I normally meet him in a pub down town about 6pm but on saturday he said "Now I'm on the sick, I can see you early on thursdays" and I can't remember if he said that he'll see me at an earlier time today. I'm sure if he did I would of put it in my calendar on my phone for future reference. But knowing me maybe I forgot to note it in, just have to wait and see if he turns up at 6pm.

Suicide

Suicide is a nasty way of dying because you leave a note saying bye to everyone but what they don't realise they'll be missed by freinds and family and by doing what they did makes them feel guilty on why they didn't do nothing on their scream for help and they wonder if they could of done something. Well a freind of mine is thinking of commiting suicide I really hope they don't because I find the person amazing but lately she's been down and I just want her to cheer up and enjoy life but you can't make someone do that so I'll just hope she don't get round to doing it and figure out all her problems and her freinds will have some more sense to stick by her and help her through this rough patch in her life because that's all she needs right now is support and I can't be there for her when she's so far away, all I can do is sit back and watch her life get sabutaged by friends ignoring her scream for help, times like this is when you know life for some people sucks enough to want to end it. Basically I just want it to be all talk and no action.

I know this isn't a nice topic to blog about but it happens in so many ways every day it could be a loved one, a friend even family just be there for someone when you know they need you it's a good deed, try and talk them round it can make all the difference.

I Haven't Blogged Much Lately

So let's update you with what's happening... The bet is still on and I got 20 odd days to get on my mates sister Jo it's going to be hard because she's 19 and I think she hates me because Jordan and the boys have been spreading roumers about me that are bad. So basically it's a challenge because she doesn't live with my mate anymore and I don't know what days she works and her brother is always up hafod so I can't really hit on her infront of him so that's a problem.

I've took down my other blog because blogger are gettin tough on people who have music up for grabs on it so I deleted it. Sorry to the one follower that was following it.

That's practically what's happened lately in my stupid life. Hoping to be writing more often.

I Desperatly Need New Mates!

Well over the last 8 years I've been bothering with the same people and they're into different things to me and the only connection between us all is that we're all funny and like comedies. Basically I feel like an outsider with them and all my mates are under 18 so going to the pub with them is out of question. I always used to do things for them but when it comes to me they say no, it's like "do you want to come to a gig with us go on it'll be fun" and I say "yeah go on then" even though I hate the music they listen to, I do it because they get to spend some time with a friend now if I asked them to see a gig with my music god it's an uproar so I'd go on my own most of the time. I'm into indie rock and they're into heavy metal so it's a bit of a difference but atleast I don't listen to R'n'b or any of the shit that goes into the mainstream.

There's alot of disconnections between us, for instance the music, games, scene and fashion. These are just the mates I bother with all the time, I've got lots more mates but from a different area so I have to travel to see them and half the time it's not bad because I get a rest from the original freinds and see new faces, i'm currently thinking of just bothering with people from a different area. That's my rant for today!

I Think The Bet's Over

Well last night Jordan asked me a stupid question "are you going to pay me?" and I said "no" I didn't mention the explaination and the explaination would of been because I'm not going to lose the bet. Well instead he just said "well thank god you told me now because I could of been depending on it in December" so he obviously thought he was going to win and he just stood there unimpressed with me but still he refused to ask why so why should I explain myself to him for no reason. So I think through that he aint going to anticipate in the bet, his loss not mine.

The Bet Update: Bad News

Well today I went to Cardiff with Jordan instead of tomorrow and he didn't pick anyone for me to harass down there so after we came home from Cardiff he said to me "her down there" and pointed to a girl down the road from me so I said she's under 16 so he's sticking with the "beach whale on the table" and he said "she finds me hanging and gay and repulsive" well thanks for judging a book by a cover. I feel like that's what everyone does these days because Jordan doesn't know her and he judged her as a beach whale, he also said "it's fun getting you to go for ugly people" my response to that was "I feel like killing myself" well I aint going to give up the bet so I have to work in these conditions and I must admit it's going to be hard when Bower's girlfreind Holly has said to her don't go out with me. They're all working against me! That shouldn't happen surely. Aww well good luck to me over the next couple of weeks trying to pull an ugly girl.

Bet Update: First Target

Yesterday I went to the schoolyard where me and my mates hang around because they have this little shelter thing with lots of seats so I walk upto it and see someone laying on the table someone who I haven't seen before and unlucky for me it was a girl so Jordan says to me lets go over there and chat for a minute and then bowers says "I'm coming I want to see his face" I automatically assumed it was that girl on the table. So around the corner Jordan says to me "see that beach whale laying on the table, well she's your target" and then shouts "Game on!".



Well first things first I aint going to try and get on her when all them are around because that'll make my job harder and plus they get to know how I work the magic which I'd like to keep a complete mystery. Plus he's picked someone who I would rather shoot than chat up, from Jordan's description you know she aint a looker but because he can change it anytime soon I'll just wait because that'll be torture and by making me go for someone who isn't a looker just makes my job easier but wouldn't like to kiss her.



For most of the night she was saying her fanny's the best I think I wanted to be sick but somehow I kept it in, like Mike says she's foul, which means not nice got to explain the words they come up with for ugly people.



More updates through the week, going back to Cardiff thursday!

The Bet Update

Well recently I haven't had any updates on the bet, but for now I know it's Cardiff tomorrow and there's going to be plenty 15-20 year olds down there and about the age rule it is now 16-21 so I don't go for girls too young and make myself look like a pedo. That's all I know for now anyways but I'm dreading chasing a girl and thinking up and turning on the magic charm which I "reckon" I have. I'm even starting to take the piss out of my cockyness... Tomorrow is going to be a fun day we all planned to go to Cardiff at 11am but then I remembered I've got to sign on at 5 past 1 so that makes things complicated so I'm making my way down after I sign on in town and then I'll be in Cardiff by 2 and be able to meet up with them and then go to cinema to see Ricky Gervais' new film called Ghost Town which looks good but when I'm signing on they're going to try and get in for a 15 film called Mirrors and I don't like horrors so even if I did go down with them I would be losing out and wasting my money on a film I didn't want to see.

Making Plans To Make My Day Jampacked!

I think I've successfully Jampacked my day in so let's review this case, I wake up at 12pm, yes because I'm lazy, I do my jobsearch from half 12 til half 2, I'll take half an hour having a shave.



Before you know it it's three o' clock, now this is the time when I play my music until someone disturbs me by asking me to come out if nobody knocks for me before 5pm that's my full 2 hours of music to get me through the day so now I have got plans to give Jordan a knock and then We'll get Gitto and then we end up going over youth at 6pm where we'll have a laugh and a giggle and then I've got to leave them for the pub how selfish of me but I have to watch the Liverpool game or just even have a drink with a mate I haven't seen in ages.

Should be fun but we'll see because I'll have to constantly have my eye on the time. Bring on tomorrow!

Job Search: Day 1

I'm currently on the dole and I don't like claiming Jobseekers Allowance but I guess to have to because how would I live without a job, at the moment I'm doing everything in my power to find a job I go on http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/ and http://www.reed.co.uk/ all the time to try and find a job.

I apply for about 20 jobs a week and about 5 get in touch with me to say, sorry the job is regarding experience or sorry you haven't got the job. Well all you can do is keep applying for jobs.

Job searching has been made harder by the credit crunch, because they're restricted to a smaller budget and some businesses are made to go bust and then there's more people on the dole with me. All we can hope for is the government to sort this mess out, has it has seemed to been a knock on effect, I don't know if Britian or America started this credit crunch, but it's seem to gone from there to all over europe. I just need luck, as an unemployed teen with no experience trying to get into my first job and it's hard!

Addictions!

Well everyone's addicted to something, even if it's drugs, smoking or chocolate. Well I'm addicted to www.Last.fm and www.facebook.com they're the two sites I'm always on and I also google everything so I'm a bit of a google freak and plus I get to know a lot more through research. I'm also addicted to chocolate because Cadbury's have brought back the Wispa so when ever I have money I'm always in the shop buying one.

That's also the next sign of me getting fat, but I don't have to worry about that because I never put on weight, yes I'm one of the lucky ones.

Back to addictions, well I'm also addicted to finding a job as I'm always on www.reed.co.uk because I need a job right now, something to get me money so I can buy a new phone and a new camera and a camcorder and wow I don't want much do I.

I guess my biggest addiction is listening to music I listen to music most of the day and I'd listen to it in my sleep if I could but I don't want to get over any of these addictions because they're good addictions.

When it comes to bad addictions, it comes down to my gambling problem, which is every saturday I bet on the football fixtures, 8 teams of my choice go onto an accumalator and I don't win anything unless they all come win, last year I had one big win around christmas time and won 650 quid and then bought this laptop I'm typing on. So I'd love to have another win around about this time, but anything can happen in football.

The Bet Update: Day 4: Jordan's Attempt To Break The Rules

Remember when I mentioned the rule about age, well the age group is 15-20 and do you also remember me mentioning about Cienwen's birthday tuesday, well she's not going to be 15 so Jordan is now attempting to break the rules by sending me after a girl younger than the rules say, so if he doesn't know that and keeps her as the girl I've got to go for then I win the bet for the simple reason she's not applicable for the bet!

I will have a word with him about that, but I wont mention that I know her age because he'll change the person so if I can win through not being challenged to go for anyone then fair enough but knowing him he will catch on and give me a new challenge as of tomorrow or something.

Fair Play is a big part in betting? I don't think so, but I love challenges!

The Bet Update Day 3: No Challenge Yet

Is he just wasting the time for me to get a chosen girl so I can't get a girl and he can automatically win the bet? Nope, he's just waiting around for some ugly girl to come around so he can say her and torture me to have an ugly girlfreind until December 1st. Well I hope not I hope he picks someone that's beautiful because that would be one hell of a challenge for me because normally beautiful girls have a thing for looks, they don't give a crap about personality, you could have no personality and be hot as a saucepan on a cooker and they'd go for you.

Anyways I'm hoping he picks someone soon or I'll just have to tell him to pick one soon, because I need time to prepare on my magic act, which isn't that magic it's just a mixed up act a very lovable act that shows you the sort of person I am and that is surely amazing.

The Bet Update: Day 2: 16:00 British Summer Time

Well today I have spoken to Jordan and he's told me we're off to cinema next friday and that Cienwen is 15 on tuesday because of the bet rules this makes her a person that Jordan can pick so next wednesday and friday is going to be fun.

Wednesday is youth and she never fails to show up to that but I am hoping so because I know she don't like me.. but with my magic I'll hopefully weave around it, afterall it is all a bit of fun worth money to me.

Friday is the day we go to cinema and yes she is going, with a lot of her freinds and we're off to see the new Ricky Gervais film Ghost Town.

Remember he can change the girl of the bet any time he wants and I'm hoping this one won't last long because he thinks of so many girls he'll go through them all now and again. Challenge time commences soon!

The New Bet

Well I have stupidly agreed to something being full of myself, yes again. The rules are simple, my mate Jordan gets to pick a girl and I've got to try and pull her (pull means to try and make her my girlfriend) by December 1st and he can change the girl at any time which gives me a chance to try and pull a lot of girls which means he can give me someone really hard to pull but then change it to someone easy just for a laugh and that's how I think I'm going to win this.

How did I get myself into this mess? Well I said that I could pull anyone being cocky and big-headed so now I've got to put my money where my mouth is and this is going to be the hardest challenge of my life, if you read my last post I said I was shy, unconfident and shallow, them three things could work against me and I'm also using this challenge/bet to become more confident and able to chat to girls more comfortably, afterall none of us are perfect and I'm always looking for ways to work on myself.

Bet started: Today
Bet worth: £30
Bet ends: December 1st

I will be keeping an update on the bet everyday and well if he doesn't challenge me to get any girl and then it's nothing to keep you posted about.

Where to start?

I live in great britian, my life is interesting but also stupid and most of the stuff that happen to me don't happen to many people in britian i hope afterall I place bets on my life and the latest bet started today, but more on that later.



I'm 18 and got brownish blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses and i'm about 5 foot 8, well that's how I describe myself, my likes and dislikes are simple afterall I like sports and would play any of them even rugby when I despise the game and don't understand the rules of the game, I play football a lot of the time, mostly sundays because everyone is free on that day, anyways back to my likes, I also like music mostly indie rock but I dip into electro and rap now and again. I'm also straight, you'll most probably guess that when you read on to the other posts. My dislikes, well I dislike rugby, cars, needles and heights.



I'm shallow might be the reason I haven't got a girlfreind yet, I'm also shy around girls and I'm not that confident, yeah I know I suck right?